I’ve realised something that I am still processing and strongly suspect I’ve only scratched the surface and have a great deal more to learn. But here goes.
I’ve lived by the Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary Love, it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in Life; Love shouldn’t be one of them quote for a long time, before I’d even found the quotation itself, really. I’ve steadfastly maintained that unless love, romantic love, is all it’s cracked up to be then I am quite content retaining my independence, my space, my time, my energy, my freedom.
And now I can see that there are substitutes that masquerade remarkably well, but eventually fizzle. Drama sounds passionate, but is self-focused and tends to take, whereas passion will thrive when given and shared. Unusual circumstances are not necessarily the kind of ‘madness’ indicated above; sometimes life is just crazy, and love probably shouldn’t make a person feel like they’re losing their mind in the scary sense. Extreme situations may demand we attempt some seemingly extraordinary things…but it does not automatically make the relationship itself extraordinary or even the love within it true.
On a related note, I am continually frustrated with my inability to realise these things during the situation in which it would be most helpful to have known all this…