I legitimately hate Mondays.
I’m not really sure what to write. I can’t write about a lot of it without revealing some personal relationship things and I just feel like that would be kind of bitchy to do right now, so I’m just…not really sure how to even begin processing this.
I feel like communication with my significant other is pretty much awful all around. And I am once again at a place where when I have tried to open up about how I feel and what I’m struggling with, it’s not gone well. So that’s awesome.
I think that I should be preparing myself to be largely on my own for the next while. Possibly long while. And no, I don’t really know what that means. Honestly, tonight, your guess, dear readers, is as good as mine.
I keep trying to pin down my emotions, that’s been a fun game I’ve been attempting lately, and it just keeps coming out as sarcasm. Mostly I’ve been able to reign in the part of me that wants to lash out. Sometimes I think I’m frustrated, then I’m angry, then I’m just heartbroken, and then I feel helpless because I don’t think the most important person in my life understand what I’m asking. Mostly I just feel alone.
And I don’t mean to belittle any of my friends by that statement, the wonderful support I’ve gotten means so much to me. But there are some relationships that can’t be supplemented. And I think I’m going to have to learn to live without.
No idea how. None whatsoever. Not that the thinking part of my brain is functioning very well at present.
That’s it, that’s all I got. Nothing deep, nothing hopeful. Just a rant about how much I hate Mondays and feelings, and lots of sarcasm if anyone is interested :o)